Save your marriage!
It is the phrase beloved of agony aunts for every warring couple – `
marriage counselling would be helpful.` It is commonly believed that marriage because it is actually so personal on every level then everything should be tried to save your marriage.
Iain Duncan Smith certainly thinks so. The MP spoke out this week against possible cuts to relationship support in the forthcoming Autumn Budget, calling it is step in the wrong direction, and argued that greater funding for services such as Relate had helped to stabilise many families since 2010.
In the privacy of millions of homes across Europe there are individuals who do not seek advice and are at war with their spouse.
Giving them the terms of marriage counselling more often than not falls on deaf ears. They have images of some know it all fuddy duddy who is lost in the theory of their books offering advice that is not relevant to their situation.
Of the people standing on the footstep of divorce a recent survey showed that 18 percent were in distressed relationships
The greatest problems faced by couples in this situation were financial difficulties (26 per cent), lack of understanding (20 per cent) and differing libido (19 per cent).
There are some who have the kind of relationship that is well founded but in danger of collapsing, who are willing to put there personal feelings to one side and are willing to give the time to search for counselling. They remember that once they were happily married.
Each possibly hope that some well meaning stranger, will see their side of the story and agree with them that their spouse is the one to blame for the situation, and it is only for the sake of the kids that you present yourself to be opened up as you have never been opened before.
In many relationships little habits that once brought laughter now grate and cause emotional stress and fighting. When they were first married one spouse going to the shops and coming back with a spontaneous item would have caused laughter and closeness now it only gets claims of selfishness and lack of thought of money being tight.
To them the idea of a couple of marriage counselling sessions would change the divide that had grown over months if not years is highly improbable.
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Divorce or Marriage Counselling
Is divorce always inevitable? Not really if the couples are willing to face each other and speak honestly about their feelings and what their partner does that hurts them.
Then marriage guidance can prevent them filing for divorce papers.
Is it too late? It should never be too late but it takes both spouses to make it work.
Yes many lawyers will not like that happening but especially when children are involved it must be worth trying.
So many couples today as soon as they feel at odds with each other rush towards divorce often encourage by their friends and family. The realisation of what they have done and the impact it has on each other and the children can come years down the line.
Divorce may sound like the easy answer but it can prove to be the incorrect answer for so many that pass through the divorce courts. It is the right answer for those who later find true happiness in relationships that are strong and full of love and laughter and when the other partner lets go of the old relationship but it would be worth a survey to discover how many marriages that ended in divorce led to reconciliation and a strong new relationship.