Is Relationship Counselling
Right For You?
When couples encounter problems in their relationship, they can sometimes spend years trying to figure out the root of the conflict – without success. When done correctly, couples counselling can strengthen the bonds. But, as our expert counsellor warns, be careful what you wish for
Relationship Counselling what is it?
Relationship counselling isn’t complex. Essentially, it’s a specialised kind of talking therapy where two people sit down with a counsellor to talk about the way they are relating. Typically, it’s for two people in a romantic relationship. However, it can also be used by any two people wanting to improve their relationship, such as two family members, or two business partners.
Relationship counselling exists to help you see clearly what is currently happening in your relationship, to be clear about what you would like to be different, and to enable you to bridge the gap.
It’s dynamically different to one-to-one counselling because there are three people in the room, but it shares the same values: confidentiality, a code of ethics, and a focus on you and your needs. What it’s not about is the opinions or preferred outcomes of the counsellor.
What Relationship counselling does
In Relationship counselling, you gain new perspectives about each other and the way you relate, and you also learn new ways of being together. Couples counselling includes “skills work” to help you actually do something different, as well as helping you explore your feelings and thoughts with your partner. It has an appreciative focus as well as exploring difficulties, so be prepared to recall what you love and value about each other, and to look on your partner with kind eyes.
Couples counselling is not a place to avoid emotions. You need to decide what you are able and willing to change
What Relationship Counselling doesn’t do
Relationship counselling isn’t a magic cure. It requires an investment of honesty, courage and humility. Often, couples come into counselling blaming one another for their difficulties.
(It’s not unusual for couples to start arguing in front of the counsellor.)
Remember, Relationship counsellors are not passive. They will intervene to focus the session on insight and action. For you and your partner, this often involves letting go of fixed per
spectives and stepping back to see the process of how you interact. Remember, Relationship counselling is not a place to avoid emotions; by exploring your feelings and finding different perspectives it helps you decide what you are able and willing to change.
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