European Association for Counselling

A Psychotherapist’s Secret Weapon



Non-duality is the understanding of non-separation it is intrinsic oneness.

Since the beginning of thought sages believed that there is only one substance and therefore we are all part of it.

It can be called Consciousness, Spirit, Awareness or even God. It is ever present and the essence of all existence.

It is accepted that the universe created this one substance following the Big Bang and everything arises for it.

As human beings, we may all appear roughly the same but we are linked to one another just like drops in the one ocean of life.

What Is Non-Dualism

How Can You Use It To Eliminate Guilt?

“Each of us must live according to the physical and mental capacities that nature presents centred only on the needs, interests and concerns that mysteriously arise in any moment.”—Darryl Bailey

The vast majority of my clients seek help to deal with guilt and shame. They feel that they’re a bad person for cheating on their partner or a failure for being passed over for a big promotion.

Underlying these types of self-critical statements is a belief that we all take for granted but actually causes a lot of unnecessary suffering. I’m talking about the conviction that we all have an actual self (an “I” or “me”) who is personally responsible for what we do. We chastise ourselves constantly, thinking of our poor choices as a result of personal weaknesses or inadequacies.

All of our intentions, urges, desires, and actions are movements of a collective energy.

According to non-dual perspective, our true identity is not an individual self but rather an unexplainable, spontaneous, vibrant dynamic, which appears as everything that exists in the world. Our individual selves do not exist separately from this creative life energy—hence, the term non-dual.

What does non-duality mean in terms of behaviour?

Non-duality describes the idea that all of our intentions, urges, desires, and actions are movements of a collective energy. There is no “I” or “me” to control. We cannot blame or shame ourselves for our “failings” when whatever happened did so the only way it could have.

Some may argue that the elimination of fault could be used as an excuse for recklessness and irresponsibility. But under the principles of non-duality, someone who would choose to act in this manner is already conditioned by life to do so. Non-duality is only a rationalisation; it’s never a cause of deviant behaviour. Fortunately, most people are expressed in decent, considerate ways. For example, most of us—even with the knowledge that we would never be caught—would never rob our neighbour’s home. And, if life did occasionally express us maliciously, there also arises natural, genuine feelings of remorse and the desire to make amends.

for more information please click on A Psychotherapist’s Secret Weapon For Dealing With Shame & Guilt


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